an open letter to men who don’t like make-up

Hi. Let’s talk.

One morning, while scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I saw that an acquaintance of mine recently changed her profile picture. In said photo, she was rocking a red lippie and winged eyeliner.

But what really caught my attention was the rude comment someone made about her make-up and how she was wearing “so much”.

“I like wearing make-up!” she quipped.

To which he sarcastically replied, “I wonder why.”

This really irked me.

Women who regularly wear it are deemed  “high maintenance” or “vain”.

“You’re too pretty to wear make-up.”

“She looks like a whore.”

“The natural look is best.”

“I like a girl who is confident enough in her own beauty that she doesn’t HAVE to wear make-up.”

And yet, if women leave the house without make-up, the same people who previously claimed that “modest is hottest” are saying things like:

“They’re hideous!”

“They must not take care of themselves.”

*eye roll*

Women wear make-up for a myriad of reasons:

“It makes me look and feel polished and ready for my day.”

“Make-up is an art!  It’s simply an extension of my personality– just like my clothes. It allows me to express myself.”

“It lets me correct things that I have no control over, like the occasional breakout or dark circles under my eyes from a brutal and hectic week with little to no sleep,”

Do you know what all of us have in common? (Even with women who don’t wear make-up.)

We don’t care about you.

Re-read all of these reasons and notice that it has nothing do with men.

It’s not about you.

It’s not about you.

IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

“At least some women wear makeup at least in part because they believe men like it.”

I think it’s pretty perilous to assume a 1:1 correlation between social attractiveness and sexual appeal to men.

“I think a little make-up is okay– just not too much!!”

Men don’t know what they like. Many insist they don’t like women who wear “too much make-up” (or any at all) but will swoon over the models and celebrities they see on the red carpet and in magazines without the slightest idea that they spent hours in a chair being prodded and worked on by a village of people to look the way they do.

Spoiler alert: They are most definitely wearing make-up.

“The natural look is the best.”

*sighs so deeply I die*

Let’s be honest. You don’t really want to see us out and about as if we’ve just rolled out of bed. It’s similar to how you expect our bodies to look a certain way but moan and groan when we order salads at a restaurant.

The actual translation of this is: “I don’t want to be able to tell that you tried.”

Sorry to break it to you but if we want to wear fake eyelashes and bright lipsticks, we’re going to. And we’re going to look damn good doing it.

“Are you so insecure that you can’t step out of the house without make-up!?”

I believe that wearing make-up and dressing well can be a sign of confidence just as much as going without make-up can be. 😉 So what if we like to show off a little bit?

As Gabourey Sidibe so aptly put it,

“One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl. I wear colors that I really like, I wear makeup that makes me feel pretty, and it really helps. It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see.” 

Ultimately, I think that my biggest problem with man’s crusades against make-up is that if you genuinely are turned off by a girl who wears make-up– there are plenty of women in the world who opt not to wear any, so why are you harassing those of us who do about your preferences?

Because at the end of the day, the only person we have to please with what we choose to wear or do to our faces and hair is ourselves. It’s not about you. It never was.

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3 comments

  1. daniellekushner

    Reblogged this on daniellekushner and commented:
    Great thoughts from my friend, Lucille! I go plenty of days without makeup, but I do find that I have much more energy when I am wearing makeup. I always feel refreshed, polished and full of life! Let girls live how they want to live ( . . . with healthy choices, that is!)

    Like

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